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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Attachment, 7 weeks in

Last weekend when my parents passed through town, I told my mother that she still couldn't hold Phoebe. She just wasn't ready. I was having a little attachment panic, since Phoebe was acting happy but not REALLY happy when I would come home from short absences, and she wasn't interested in cuddling. Some of the families we traveled with are doing "attachment parenting" techniques with much more gusto than we are-- 6 hours of holding the baby in the Ergo daily, feeding every morsel of food to the baby by hand instead letting her feed herself, etc. I was starting to panic, worry that I had brought Phoebe out into public too early and too often. I was envision my poorly attached child years down the road with major issues because I didn't do enough in those early weeks together.

And then something amazing happened this week. The nanny started (Keri, now an important person in our lives!) and I feel so much better about how things are going with Phoebe. I did lots of little trips out of the house this week for an hour or so. Phoebe cried when I left-- and sometimes clung like a monkey to me-- and then perked up in a minute or two after I left like any other toddler would. She played nicely with Keri while I was gone, but gave me big hugs and smiles when I returned. When Keri and I were both in the house, she has a clear preference for me. She gives lots of hugs now, and has settled nicely into cuddling in the rocking chair even after her bottle is done. She's become quite relaxed and smiley in a crowd, but doesn't go to strangers and hangs closely to mom. Her new favorite game is to walk out the door way of the living room while she waves and says "bye" and then laugh when she returns to me. I'm feeling much, much better! This weekend my parents were again in town and I told Mom she could hold Phoebe now. Phoebe tolerated it for, oh, about 5 seconds and then put her arms up for Mama. And while I wish my mother could cuddle her grandchild, I'm really glad that Phoebe is clear about who her mama is. I start work this week, and I'm feeling very comfortable about that.

In other news, Phoebe saw her regular pediatrician this week. She's gained more than a pound in the last months!

2 comments:

  1. Phoebe sounds like she's doing great!

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  2. LOVE the blog! It is such a window into your world--It feels like I am there watching these wonderful moments with you!
    Julie

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