Reunion

Last time we saw each other, we were blurry-eyed with jetlag, ending a 30 hour journey home with our new daughters who were clinging to us with no idea what was coming next in this madness. Today, three months later, our babies are toddling all over the playground, quite clear on who their moms and dads are. All of the kids have grown, but it is the ones who arrived the smallest that are the most amazing. There is one child-- a smart little thing with so much character!-- who couldn't sit up alone at 14 months, and today I watched her take a few steps between her parents' outstretched arms. In three months! Their faces have filled out and their legs are chunky. These children have found their families, and it is very clear that the parents have found their children, too. It's funny, we were just folders in the Matching Room a few months back, but somehow we ended up paired the way we are. I just can't imagine Liam with us, or Phoebe with Liz and Andy, or the twins with anyone other than the parents who got them. Everyone seems to be just exactly where they belong.

This past week Phoebe had her follow-up appointment at the International Adoption clinic. They re-evaluated her development with a full assessment. At 18 months of age, she officially scored at 18 or 19 months for everything except gross motor function; for that, she is still at 16 months-- but that's just 2 months behind now, up from 4 months behind before, and 2 months behind is pretty much right on target. OK, I think we can officially count her as caught up now. An average kid. Just learning and developing and exploring as all kids do, from here on out. I promise to back off on the monitoring and asssessing and grading her progress. It's time to just let her do her own thing, as all kids do if you love them and let them.

Even more thrilling than the numbers is watching Phoebe in a crowd now. She was at church with us this morning, and now she is relaxed and curious, no longer scared and threatened. It is so good to be 3 months into this, when we are no longer asking "Do you think she's up for it? Is she ok? How's she doing?" She just settles in.

At the same time, I know our work isn't done. At the IA clinic I was asked "How's attachment going?" and answered very positively. The response I got was more cautious than congratulatory: Keep doing what you are doing, they told me. Hold her, kiss her, hug her, make eye contact, tell her you love her. So far, so good, but don't let your guard down.

Words of the week: sit, giraffe, boo-boo, poop, hi-kitty, stuck (so many applications for the word stuck!), hand, toe, oh no. She's a good little talker!